Friendship ponderings
PostedLessons I learnt while reflecting about an internet friendship......
True friends are hard to find, most of the time, people end up with the wrong people. With the increasing selfishness and cut throat competition between peers, it has become more difficult to find a person, who can be blindly trusted and to be there in times of need. Also, with increasing interest of people in gossip and cheap plots, betrayal of friendship has become very common. One more reason because of which friendship these days do not bloom is self- engrossed nature of most of the people. Coping up with a broken friendship is quite hard, But, life goes on and you make new friends. You push away your hurtful past and learn a valuable lesson from it.
Accept Reality
When friends let you down and are not there for you when you need them the most, its very heart wrenching. Sometimes the reason why friends betray you is just not known, which leaves you with a feeling of guilt that may be something went wrong from your side. In case of betrayal, being at the receiving end leaves you hurt, confused and angry. You demand answers as to why have you been betrayed. The talks end abruptly, letters remain unanswered and there is no contact whatsoever. Hate it as much as you want, you will have to come to terms with reality and accept that things were not meant to be.
Do Not Drag Issues
There is no point in dragging along a friendship when you know you are not comfortable with it. End it politely and quickly and most importantly, don't regret your action. If you start feeling sorry, you are putting yourself in trouble. There is a reason for every action you take and you must have thought a lot about it before taking a decision. Learn to trust your gut feelings and have confidence in yourself. Make sure you don't end the friendship (however short it may be) with bitter feelings and make it a bitter experience for yourself as well.
Take Lessons
Once you overcome the depression phase, you will be surprised to see that it was not very difficult. All that you needed was to make yourself understand that this friend was not meant for you. Also, remember these betrayals are experiences that teach you valuable lessons in life.
Accept Reality
When friends let you down and are not there for you when you need them the most, its very heart wrenching. Sometimes the reason why friends betray you is just not known, which leaves you with a feeling of guilt that may be something went wrong from your side. In case of betrayal, being at the receiving end leaves you hurt, confused and angry. You demand answers as to why have you been betrayed. The talks end abruptly, letters remain unanswered and there is no contact whatsoever. Hate it as much as you want, you will have to come to terms with reality and accept that things were not meant to be.
Do Not Drag Issues
There is no point in dragging along a friendship when you know you are not comfortable with it. End it politely and quickly and most importantly, don't regret your action. If you start feeling sorry, you are putting yourself in trouble. There is a reason for every action you take and you must have thought a lot about it before taking a decision. Learn to trust your gut feelings and have confidence in yourself. Make sure you don't end the friendship (however short it may be) with bitter feelings and make it a bitter experience for yourself as well.
Take Lessons
Once you overcome the depression phase, you will be surprised to see that it was not very difficult. All that you needed was to make yourself understand that this friend was not meant for you. Also, remember these betrayals are experiences that teach you valuable lessons in life.
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Oh my yes!
I say - too often I fear - things happen for a reason -
That still might be my first tattoo ;-)
Great post!
Phyll
aka 'Sometimes Her Mom'
Don't you think internet friendships are like life? There are so many different types. Some are deep, some are casual. Some are acquaintances. Some are people you say hello to in passing without really speaking to at all. And in other friendships there is a disparity when people have different perceptions of it. Some you just grow out of. Some fade away for no reason and no one minds. Others involve a fall out - and some of those arguments you get over and become friends again, either better and stronger for it, or wiser and more cautious. Sometimes they aren't even betrayals either, maybe we never knew our friends in the first place.
Gossip destroys friendship - there is huge potential for this destructive force on the internet.
As Oscar Wilde said 'true friends stab you in the front'.
xx