I am only telling you...  

Posted by: reflective moments

How many times have you been told that by someone who is confiding in you only to find you are not the only one keeping her/his secret.

Years ago pregnant women were not allowed to play Squash.  (a couple of years later that ruling changed and I played till 7mths pregnamt)  Anyway. I digress.... one of my close friends came to me and confides she is pregnant and was pulling out of pennant but wanted to keep playing in the social pennant... I said okay as long as you don't tell anyone because if it is reported to me I will have to tell you to stop playing.  No, no, Bren I am only telling you as you are my friend.  Imagine my shock when a couple of weeks I am down on the court playing her and wrong footed her and she fell over flat on her tummy!!  When the whole gallery gasped  with horror.... now normally this would not stir more than someone calling out "are you ok"  I was gobsmacked and when we came off the court and back upstairs the rest of my team come to me and said "did you not know she was pregant"  before I could reply one of my friends said you looked shocked... well, yes I was as I believed I was keeping her secret and nobody else knew.

Can you keep a secret? Keeping a secret for someone else is a huge responsibility.  When you are asked to keep a secret, you need to be able to keep your word. If you can’t, then your word means nothing and you are not respecting your friend. No matter how stupid, inconsequential or controversial the piece of information is, if it’s not for you to share. If you have a misunderstanding with your friend it doesn’t give you the right to tell the secret to others as retaliation. If you do so, you may cause irreparable harm to your friendship.

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            Reminds me of the journalist mantra about not disclosing your sources. A reporter I once knew went to prison - she was the crime reporter - because she refused to tell the police something about one of her stories. She was probably more afraid of the person behind the story than going to jail anyway :D

            That is a bit different I think than confiding in a friend only to find they betrayed that trust. I had a friend, a very close friend sadly since I moved away our friendship lapsed but she has kept a confidence of mine to this day.

            Jeannie aka Cassandra  

            I am good at keeping other people's secrets. Far better to zip your lip and say nothing. Life is complicated enough.

            The problem is once a secret has been told, it is never, ever a total secret again. Because one other person knows, and you have to trust that person so implicitly. However, if you do have a trusted friend - which like you - I have - it is sometimes a relief to unburden yourself.

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